Those who know me know I’m not a gusher. I don’t write very often about my state of marital bliss or how fabulous my husband is on a daily basis. I don’t prescribe or repost other people’s prescriptions for a happy marriage religious or otherwise. This, however, does not mean that a). I don’t love my husband, or b). that I’m not a proponent of marriage.
In fact, nothing could be further from the truth(we’re coming up on ten years); however, the daily ins and outs of marriage are trying even in the best of circumstances. I would be lying if I said we don’t fight or that he doesn’t try my patience. ( I don’t post that stuff either.) Marriage is about compromise, sacrifice, and respect on both sides.
If someone had asked me early on in our marriage if it was going to work, I probably would have responded “I’m not so sure.” I had two teenage girls, a full time job, and was carrying a full load of college courses at night. He had an equally trying position in law enforcement and two new stepdaughters. Looking back we spent quite a bit of time just treading water and passing each other on the freeway.
Life became less stressful; however, as the girls grew up and out and I finished school, but it alternatively left us without a clue how to maneuver a relationship sans kids and newfound time together. This is the point I think where many relationships fall apart, because you really no longer know one another and either you rewrite the next chapter together or you part ways. This has not been easy for either one of us as Mike was also recently medically retired and home full time now. We have spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out how all of this would work and again left me wondering if we would overcome, yet another change in our relationship.
Ultimately, this made me realize that God doesn’t always give you what you want, but he gives you what you need. The reason I call my husband “My hero” is because he lives by an old fashioned code whereby his decisions, at least I think are mostly guided by God, or morality, call it what you will if you’re offended. It is his “works” or actions that I admire most and I truly find inspiring. Last year whilst we were walking with our dogs at a nearby park we came upon some abandoned rabbits(five exactly) and my husband and I proceeded to climb through scratchy shrubs in shorts to rescue the rabbits. Ultimately, I know he did it because his wife would be heartbroken if he hadn’t. Then he spent untold amounts of money and heartache to ensure their well being because it was the “right” thing to do. Some people might call that stupidity; I call it: love.
Although, I was raised Methodist, I think I lost my way at some point–cue bad marriage and a divorce-, and I had veered off course. I’m not proud to admit it, but I don’t think I knew what it was like to have a real relationship with God, and maybe even my husband, at least a mature more authentic one, that I am shouting from the rooftops. . . .. only just this once.